I pulled the domestic housewife routine again on Monday. I had coffee with my best friend, cleaned out my closet with my sister, went grocery shopping and made dinner and cupcakes. It was pretty enjoyable, but the day flew by far too quickly.

Yesterday was basically a perfect summer day. I read The Time Traveler's Wife all day, taking breaks to watch The Food Network and watch a movie with Daddy while Heather and Momma were out.

I finished the book this morning and quite honestly, I can't figure out how to describe it! I mean, I thought it was wonderfully written and the plot was incredibly unique, but there was just something about it that bothered me. There was a point towards the end where I think I would enjoyed it better if she had cut off the final few chapters, but I think the last few paragraphs changed that opinion. I would recommend it, definitely. But it is very different.

Today, I am yet again left to work an 8 hour shift while both of my favorite tennis players have matches. I'll have to get updates from Twitter while I'm at work. (#WimbledonFAIL)

Now, the question is what book to read next. Start my reread of HBP or start another small book that I'll be able to finish quickly, then reread HBP? I don't know. No time to read today, so that decision will hold off until tomorrow.

I think I enjoy the concept of summer much more than the actual manifestation of summer.

I remember being so excited about summer coming with the time and availability to read 100 books and go on adventures with my friends.

Now that I'm here, and I've been here for nearly 2 months, that reality isn't surfacing. I work too much to have time to go out with my friends because our schedules clash. Work has been so demanding lately, physically and emotionally, that I'm absolutely exhausted. When I come home, I go straight to the computer because its less mentally challenging than the pile of books.

I so want to read that pile of books, but, for some reason, I just can't get to them. And when I do, I have trouble getting through them.

I've started The Alchemyst, A History of Reading, Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, and The Time Traveler's Wife. But I just can't seem to get through them. And I still want to reread Half Blood Prince before the movie.

I just need to discipline myself. Like when school's around, I get the work done well and early because I have the motivation and the discipline. It's time I get that working again on something that I actually want to accomplish.

Summer just seems shorter and shorter everytime I look at the calendar.

I'm a horrible blogger, I'm sorry. I have stuff to write about, but sometimes I just get ready to write it and nothing comes out right.

Before the family came, I went to a tattoo/piercing parlor with a group of friends. We were going as a support group for Amy, who was getting her nose pierced. I was going to ask how much my tattoo idea would cost, but I forgot. It was a nice place, close to home, clean and with a good reputation, so that's probably where I'll get it. Whenever that it.

I never posted about Syracuse either, which was fun. We went to the ZOOOO, like the 20 year old college students we are. Then, of course, we went to the Carousel Mall. We made a stop at the nearest Subway for lunch, which happened to be next to a used bookstore. Score! So I bought some books, of course. Finding our dinner place was an adventure. It was highly recommended, but it was in a super shady area and it was closed when we got there. So we went to our second choice, where we were obviously the only people there who weren't regulars. Weird. ADVENTURES ARE FUN.

I got more books while the family was here. They like our local used bookstore, so I went with them, duh. My mom gave my sister and I $50 and we spent the whole thing. Books are pretty.

Heather and I went to Darien Lake yesterday. We drove 3.5 hours to spend 4 hours at the park. Hahahaha, it was funny. We rode 5 rides and then said to each other, "I'm tired. You just wanna leave?" It was ridiculously fun, between the ride up, the rollercoasters and the ride back, but it was just funny that we only spent 4ish hours at the park.

Randomness that will be showing up in the next few days: I'm really committing myself to a healthy lifestyle/weight loss program because I'm seriously not healthy. And as much as my friends try to encourage me that I'm not fat, I am at an unhealthy weight and that needs to change. So, I'll probably be writing some entries about that. I'm on SparkPeople, which comes highly recommended, so hopefully that will help me.

I don't want to sound like an adolescent here, but this family thing is getting a little crazy.

I've tried to be nice. Today, I even sat in the living room with them all. day. long. I answer their questions, I talk to them. I don't play games with them, but I don't like games. I don't try very hard, but I don't think I deserve to be treated like I'm twelve, judged, patronized and preached at. I don't know what it is about this family, but they drive me absolutely batty.

I work for 8.5 hours tomorrow and they leave on Thursday morning. I can survive it. I love them, I do, but spending so much time with them in an enclosed area isn't a good idea.

Once they leave, I have so much cleaning to do. This place is a mess. That's probably adding to my stress. Bahh, can it be July 14th now?

I can't think of any other way to write this. So it's another list entry.

1. There are 10 adults, 1 child and 2 toddlers in my house right now. It's a bit of a mess. I don't like kids, so I have been and will be frazzled until they leave.

2. My cousin Jeremy didn't come up with the rest of the family to see Heather graduate. Part of me misses him, part of me is mad he missed something so important to Heather, part of me hates his guts.

3. Graduation weekend makes me exceptionally nostalgic. I can't figure out how I feel about high school anymore. But I miss those people.

4. My room is a joke right now. Clothes everywhere, etc. And they stashed the balloons from the grad party in here to keep them from the toddlers. Great.

5. I need some new music. Nothing is keeping my interest right now.

6. I want to hole up in my room and read for the next 30 days...

7. ...because in 30 days, I'll be leaving for SanFran!

Twitter is definitely becoming too big. Too many IRL people I don't really care for are adding me on Twitter.

I'm going to have to make it private. I hate to do it because I have plenty of friends who don't have Twitter who I'd like to see my updates, but this is getting out of hand.

Oh, and my extended family is starting to arrive for Heather's graduation/family reunion and they're already annoying me.

EXCITING NEWS SECTION:

1. I got my new car yesterday! Wooooo! He's so beautiful. 2007 Suzuki Forenza, Silver. Gorgeoussss. Any name suggestions? I need a good male name that makes me think of a sexy car.

2. I bought my HBP ticket for the midnight showing in CALIFORNIA. YESSSSSS. 33 days. <3

Lots to cover in a very short entry. Well, I'll try a short-ish entry.

My birthday was boring. Went to church, went to lunch, looked at some cars and sat around the house. It was kind of nice because I haven't really had a chance to sit around like that since then.

Our kitchen floor is being replaced, so on my days off, I was in the house with the guys doing the floor. They were playing the country radio station, which was torture, but I didn't ask them to change it. They were doing hard labor. I'm a saint.

I went to Austin's last night for a movie night with some friends from high school and some of his friends. He said to get the earlier if I wanted, and I'm a big early person, so I was there a half hour early. No one else was there so we sat in his kitchen awkwardly listening to rap music and talking about his ex. Then Jeremy and Kiekel showed up and it was all car talk, which was entertaining to listen to even though I didn't get it. Once people got there, we watched Death Wish and S. Darko and ate some food and laughed a lot. They then insisted upon playing the Wii, which was entertaining, but I was tired and falling asleep a bit. It was good fun and I kind of miss those people.

It was really funny how at ease I was and how much fun I had with people who aren't really a huge part of my life anymore. They used to be a huge part, but most of them haven't talked to me much in the past 2 years since we graduated. Random talks when we see each other or various occasions of casualties on Facebook, but nothing serious. It was just a little amazing to me to see how easily we jump back together. Not to say we didn't have some awkward moments, but it was altogether a very...normal evening. I want to do it some more.

Going to Syracuse with the girls tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have something to say about that later. I need a name for my group of girls because "the girls" makes it sound like I have daughters, which I don't really ever plan on.

New York City on Wednesday was pretty great. I mean, our fourth, who was only a pick on my part because she could replace our original fourth, was obnoxious and was driving me a little crazy. But Tacarra painted herself green, which attracted many funny looks, even in the city. Some of the greatest reactions were as follows: "Oh my god, you see everything in New York." "Blessed be, sister, blessed be." and a wedding proposal. Lots of usual questions and random tourists attempting to take pictures inconspicuously on the train. GOOD TIMES.

We went to Jamba Juice (which I have never actually had before - AMAZING) before going to The Strand. The combination of the two was brilliant. Wicked was fantastic, too, OF COURSE. Last time I saw it, the understudy for Elphaba was performing. She was great, but I could definitely tell the difference this time. I was exhausted on the drive home, but we blasted some Newsies and they kept me awake.

Work was ROUGH. I was so exhausted. I've never been that tired. When I got home, I just didn't want to move. I didn't even want to eat, I just wanted to sleep. But I got dinner, went to bed at 8 and slept for 10.5 hours. I felt better today, but still recovering from traveling and lack of quality/quantity sleep.

Um, I'm buying a car in the next couple weeks? I'm actually kind of scared to commit to something that I'll be paying for over 4 years. Like, I make money and I claim to be responsible with it, but I have the freedom to spend money on basically whatever because I have no bills. And I've never had to worry about not working for a week or getting very few hours. Now, I'll actually have to worry about how many hours I'm getting and all that. And 4 years is a long time! I'll have an apartment and insurance and food and other things before I finish paying for this car. Being an adult is getting rough.

Um, um, um, hmmm. Not sure how to describe LeakyCon.

It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible (for me, at least). I got to meet some new people, which is fun and awkward at the same time. Some were nice, some ended up being not so nice. Boston is beautiful. I really loved it, though I know some people weren't fans.

Seeing Harry and the Potters was definitely one of my main reasons for wanting to go to LeakyCon and I did. And I jumped up and down to Dumbledore, The Weapon and HARRY POTTER so hard that I felt like my heart was gone. I had just left it there in expressing my love for Harry Potter and the world, even when it's mean to me. Best night of the weekend.

There were too many of you missing, though.

A motto for my life is this: "Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful, if it’s bad, it’s an experience." -Victoria Holt. I think that's affected the way I look at everything that happens to me. I had way too many regrets, but I have to look at them as experiences that teach me something, even if I wasted money and time and feelings on it. Everything is a risk that it might just be an experience, but I think those wonderful memories are worth risking it.

All in all, even though the weekend was full of drama and stupidity and hurt feelings and WEIRDNESS, I had fun with cassi_loves_you and I'm only looking forward to Azkatraz more.

BUT WHO'S GOING TO PERFORM THE WEAPON AT AZKATRAZ?!?!?!

Work was hard today, but oddly refreshing.

I'm DEAD physically, but I feel really good about what I accomplished today.

I was the opening cashier, so at 7am, I was there and answering phones and ringing out $700 orders all before 8am. I did a lot of working on the floor and putting away things and such. I helped a floor manager with an end-cap at the end of the day. I answered the phone quite a lot, which is unusual for me. I hate answering the phone at work.

And I had a lot of fun with the daytime workers. They're awesome people.

I am competent, okay? Ron may not agree, but the other managers do. And my coworkers do, too. So there.

All my summer projects have been put on hold for the moment. Because I have work, friends, and LEAKYCON this week and next. EXCITEMENT.

"There is no greater measure of a film's awesomeness than having Zachary Quinto and Leonard Nimoy in the same scene."

AMEN.

Saw Star Trek on Thursday night. EPIC, MUCH?!

I wouldn't say I was a Trekkie before, but I had the potential, to be sure. It's genetic, really. My dad was an original Trekkie, man. And I had some general knowledge of the series (all of them, I mean, really, they just keep going). So, I'm watching the entire original series, in order, right now. I'll watch the other ones eventually, too, but the original is always the most interesting. Plus, it's from 1966 and it has William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. What else could I ask for?

And seeing the movie again tonight.

P.S. Vulcan is now the new faux-swear word. "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life by Shauna Niequist

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
If I owned this book when I read it, its pages would have been bookmarked and highlighted like you wouldn't imagine. Niequist uses words so beautifully to impact the way you view life and God and your life with God. Open and vulnerable, she shares many life stories, good and bad, with the reader. I would highly, highly recommend this book!


View all my reviews.

Seriously, I remember reading this book in my room. I think it was sometime last spring when I felt like I was sort of falling apart. It was better than that previous fall, but only because it was sunnier outside and I had good friends by my side and a summer to look forward to. I remember sitting in my room, reading her eloquent, vulnerable words and crying my heart out. Because I felt the same pain or wanted the same great ending that came to her problem or some such thing.

I borrowed it from the library so I had to type up all the good quotes from the book and it's a very long document. I have to own this book, so I can destroy its pages with a highlighter.

One of my favorite sections:
"Hope and redemption and change are real, and they're happening all around me. So I choose to act out of that reality, because the other one makes life too hard, day after day. Life is painful, and we carry with us so much disappointment and heartbreak. But I'm fighting to save some space inside me where I can create hope. I can't live there in the disappointment anymore. I've missed whole seasons of my life. I look back and all I remember is pain. I guess I went to work or to class during that time, but I don't really remember. I wasted a lot of time wishing I was different. I didn't love the gift of life because I was too busy being angry about the life I was given. I wanted it to be different. But being angry didn't change those things. It just wasted time. I can't take away the things that have happened to you or to me, but what we have, maybe as a reward for getting through all the other days, is today. Today is a gift. And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift.

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift, who will use it up and wring it out and drag it around like a favorite sweater."

Can I paint that ALL on a wall in my room so I remember that I have to truly live each and every single second? I don't do that so well.

New layout!

Working on some new icons, too. And reconstructing my tags, which will take awhile as I've had this journal for almost 4 years.

I spent the day pretending to be a housewife. Haha. Not on purpose, but that's what happened. Lists are good in these situations.

• Dropped Heather off at school, where I ran into MY BEST FRIEND, AHHHH (she's been away at school if you haven't been paying attention/are new). I had, literally, rolled out of bed and thrown jeans and flipflops on, so I looked horrendous, but I talked with her and we wandered around our old high school for a few minutes.
  
• After showering and making myself look pretty, I cleaned the house and got my cans and bottles together.
  
• AND BOUGHT TICKETS TO SAN FRANSISCO. WOOOOOOT!! (Cheap ones, too. Round trip, cross country for $240. Love. It.)
  
• Had lunch with my daddy.
  
• Went to the grocery store (Maines, my place of employment), where I deposited my cans and bottles and went shopping. EVERY employee was like, "HEY! Whatchya doing? You aren't workin' today?!" I even had a couple regular customers see me shopping and say the same thing. Hahaha. Love it.
  
• Picked Heather and friends up at school.
  
• Baked cranberry scones.
  
• Made new LJ layout (not really housewifey, but whatever, I did it).
  
• Made dinner - "chicken pot biscuit," a hybrid of chicken pot pie and chicken and biscuits.
  

And now I'm sitting down. Whooo! Long day, but it was fun.

LeakyCon is NEXT WEEKEND?! YESSSSS!
SanFran (/Azkatraz): 64 days (adjusted based on plans made today! yayyy!)

So, I find it a little funny that the one year I was going to skip Potter cons completely, I actually attend two.

Goodbye, money.

Oh well. I'm only young once. Gotta do some crazy fun stuff.

I drove 15 minutes to campus, spent 15 minutes finishing registration, then drove 15 minutes home. That was my morning adventure.

I cleaned my kitchen. It was my intention to clean my entire first floor as well as make some plans to fix up our guest room/library (because it's a mess). But I finished the kitchen and quit.

Okay, LeakyCon, people. 2 weeks exactly, I'm so excited!!! I'm so freaking tempted to register for it. I...don't know. I have the money for it, but I'm buying a car soon. But I have the money for the car already, so I'm a little torn. Any opinions?

Oh, by request of cassi_loves_you, pictures of my "Potter Shrine."

The copies of HBP and DH that I got at the midnight releases are there.

Other pictures:
Another view
I have the box set of all seven, too.
In all honesty, my entire room is a shrine, with Potter stuff here and here and here.

Okay, so even though my last post was emo and I'm still pissed at my cousin and I still want to be important enough, it hasn't ruined my life. I just...wanted to clear that up.

Working on a new LJ layout. Made a new Twitter layout.

Not much to talk about today. I cleaned my room and finally put most of my books back on the shelf. There were a dozen on the bed, half a dozen in the living room, etc. I still have a ton in my car, but I didn't feel like getting those out.

So, I took a picture of my lovely overflowing bookshelf.



I got attacked by a pile on the right when I plugged my iPod in the stereo. Ouch. I think it's almost time for another bookshelf, huh?

If you follow me on Twitter, you'll have seen that my cousin might have gotten married.

There's a lot of unknowns in this, but this is the general story.

My cousin, Jeremy, is the same one who was going to come to school with me at Davis. The one who, prior to September of last year, was a great friend of mine. We texted all the time and we both confided in each other and I was SO excited about having him here at school.

He came for a week. I shopped for an engagement ring with him, for his girlfriend. He moved into his apartment and everything. Before the semester even started, he decided to go back to Tennessee to finish his degree there. He was gone in a couple of days. I told him that he should do whatever he thought was best, but I was heartbroken. Everything I had planned for that semester, even things outside of his attending Davis, had fallen apart.

He never texted me after that unless I initiated it. He was harder to contact than Austin, whose communication is like pulling teeth. He graduated and moved to Florida, where his girlfriend is, without even telling me. I told him he was a jerk for never telling me these important things. He apologized for not keeping in contact or telling me these things and we decided we'd try email as communication. I emailed him and he never replied.

Now, through an email about a phone call about a phone call, it's possible that he married his girlfriend last week without telling anyone except his older, irresponsible brother. He only told his brother that he had asked her to marry him and they might get married the next day at the courthouse. NO ONE knew about any of this. No one knows if he is a married man right at this very moment.

I'm a loyal person, okay? I will love you forever. I'll love you even if I don't consider you a "friend" anymore. I'll consider you a friend until you do something horrible to me. Or until you neglect me so much that it's obvious I don't mean anything to you.

I'm not sure I'll ever get over this. This...hurts. This is why it's hard for me to open up to people because I'm always scared of this happening. The neglect hurts more than anything I've ever known. It's happened with other friends, too. Might be happening with a few right now. I'm not important enough.

I just want to be important enough.

Completely finished with all semester work. I have to show up to class tomorrow and Wednesday, but I don't even really have to pay attention because I'm not going to have to regurgitate in on an exam. I will pay attention, of course, but there's no pressure.

I'M FREEEEEEE.

(UH. I totally just heard "DOBBY IS FREEEEEEEE" in my head. LOLPOTTERCAST.)

I'm totally feeling the Potter Summer Anticipation right now. Summer is finally here. I read an entire book yesterday and I'm working on another one today. If you've seen my GoodReads To-Read list, you know I need to get reading! And I am so excited to do so.

Summer to-do list and reading and shopping and Potter cons, here I come!

LeakyCon: 17 days
Azkatraz: 73 days

It's raining and my day has not been ideal and I don't know what to say.

Too much homework. Wanted to go shopping. Had to stay at school for a group project meeting. Said project meeting was actually a lot of fun. Went shopping with my sister, which was fun. Until we had to meet her friend to buy a straightener. Had to wait a half hour in the car. Bought straightener. Realized I had locked my keys in the car. Sister went home with friend. Sat on bench in cold, rainy weather waiting for Daddy to come unlock my vehicle. Cried.

I bought an orange lacy cami, coconut body spray, lotion and shower gel, and black stilettos.

I also bought my bus ticket to Boston for LeakyCon! Made my day muuuuch better.

Last day of BEDA! You will no longer be bored by my daily ramblings of nothing. I think I'll be updating more often than I did before, but not every day, don't worry.

End of semester: 8 days
LeakyCon: 21 days
Azkatraz: 77 days

End of school is stressing everyone out. It needs to be over soon. Let's work on that time machine, so we can go forward in time, not just backwards.

Yesterday sucked hardcore. You know it was bad when work made me feel better. All my regular customers made me feel special and some random people were super nice to me so it was good. Then I got home and laid on the floor and talked to my dad for an hour and a half. So it ended better, I suppose.

Projects are slowly getting done, but they're so big. And I just don't have enough time and motivation. Blah.

Today is starting out better. I'm ridiculously tired, but I'm having an email conversation with my favorite professor about books. So I'm happy. And it's making me excited for reading them.

End of semester: 9 days
LeakyCon: 22 days
Azkatraz: 78 days